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Friday, August 12, 2005
I'm so confused...>
I'm so confused with my life. Sometimes i'm not sure what is the right thing to do. Since wednesday, i felt as though the whole world are treating me badly. Sometimes i wonder, do Singaporeans need to be taught about how they should sit in the bus? Despite of our well-known great education, i think the government and some families fail to teach their children manners. To be frank, i think some parents themself do not have some manners.
Wednesday, the day after National Day, is a really bad day for me. First, there's a stupid ASSHOLE who sit behind me in the bus. Who does he thinks he is? Eh boy, the bus doesn't own by your grandfather you know. Dont really feel like telling you guys the full story of what happen. So sorry about that.
Then followed my maths class. Boy those minahs are bloody irritating with their mosquito-like voices. They talk on and on about their boyfriends, about ppl's face, about themselves. What surprise me the most is, all the 3 of them can talk to one another at the same time. I wonder who is listening to these 3 bitches? Obviously, that causes the noise in the class to go from bad to worst. Until... I suddenly got headache. Bloody hell. I feel as though i'm only wasting my time down there.
I need a favour from this good friend of mine. But i dont want to say her name since she dun really like her name to be mentioned in my blog. Well, here it goes. My dear good friend who is always with me in school rite now, i've been wanting to tell you something that bothers me. The reason why i nvr tell you face to face is because i dont know how to bring it up to you. I just wanna let you know that i've been irritated by your constant pokings and pinchings during class and especially during lessons. I know you are bored but it isn't nice of you to distract me just because you are bored. Right? That time when i say you are "sadist" due to having fun from poking at me, that word really comes from my heart to describe you at that particular moment. Honestly, i dun mind the pokings and pinchings at all as long as it is not during lessons or if it's outside class. You can distract me by talking or asking me qns during lessons but NOT POKING AT ME with rulers or pencils. Ok? Last but not least, my favourite drinks are Milo or Green Tea. You have always seen me drinking milo in secondary sch. Now, you'll be seeing me often drinking green tea. If you dun like it, please respect me by my green tea ALONE. Hehez... I'm sooo sorry about all these.... It's because you are my good friend, i've been swallowing my words.
Now, my 'beloved' tutees. My sec 4 tutee(Neesha) asked me whether today is the 3rd lesson of the mth? I said, "No, today is the 4th lesson." Guess what? Just because she told her dad that today is the 3rd lesson earlier during the day, she wants me to follow her records and miss the other lesson(take it as she got one free extra lesson). Because she is suppose to keep track of how many times i come. And lately, she didnt do it on paper. So she forgot. And her dad will scold her if he realises that she actually didn't keep track of the tuition. Honestly, i dont mind giving her the free tuition. But on a 2nd thought, why should i be punished for her irresponsibility? Thankfully, i have been recording all my tuition dates. So i told her, if she needs my evidence of the record, i can bring it for her next lesson. Eventually, she reluctantly accept it. Anyway, i planned to give her free tuition during your N levels(in October) because most likely she will need very minimal help from me by then. So i'll only come when she needs me. Besides, it will be fasting month in October. Quite difficult for me to give tuition after school. I also dont mind if she calls just to ask questions. My job is to make sure that she will do well for all her exams.
If i had offended anyone, please forgive me. I have been keeping a lot of things to myself lately. It isn't easy to be nice to everyone in this world. Besides, i'm only human. Not an angel. I do have feelings too just like everyone else. Last but not least, i would like to leave a litte description which i qouted from my friend. In someway, i really agree with him.
["Sedate, i have a no-nonsense character coupled with a deliberate mannerism restraining my vehement fury at annoying behaviour. I quickly rationalise the folly of others because everyone is flawed, inclusive of myself. Being infuriated is undesirable however bottling it up is poison inside.
Skeptic in view of happenings around the world it is best not to be too trusting of intentions of others because life is not getting any simpler. Ulterior motives arise due to the treacheries of modern life and I yearn a lost ideal of honesty in an increasingly convoluted future.
My dreams bite me when I mull my actions or non-actions- what could have been if I put myself forward to accomplish things I could have done or should have done but did not. And now I am left thinking what would have become."]
