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Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Cause I've drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies>
Okie... Let me officially post my first blog for this year 2008. Dont know why it have to start from May... Hehez...
Oh well... A lot of things have been going on since last year. Unlike most girls, i dont blog about boys or my love towards a certain someone. Reason being, these are the things i would rather keep in private and not meant for the entire world to know.
First and formost, Thank you so much Kak Nora for bringing me out today and listening to my crapz. I know you must have felt like taking a vase and simply crash it on my head hoping i'm talking some sense again.
Well, let me annoy you some more... I seriously dont know what came over me during the weekends. I suddenly feel damn restless. Dont know what to do with myself. I felt damn lonely. Feels like there are no one who is able to comprehend me. Seems like everyone is ignoring me. Feels as though i'm missing out on something. I got pissed and paranoid over everything. Everything just dont go with me. Like aaarrggghhh... I'm going crazy! Maybe you should just send me to IMH.
Although i'm not supposed to, i seriously do miss Iguana a lot. No one have any idea how much i want to call him and have a proper talk with him and hope everything is back to the old times. But like they say, "Nasi sudah menjadi bubur". I cant reverse it and pretend everything didnt happen. He must be angry with me for the things that I did. And I cant deny that i'm still angry with him for the things that he did. I still dont understand up till this day, why does he have to lie to me? Why couldn't he just be honest with me? It still hurts like hell the fact he dont even consider me as a friend. Evidence? He even deleted me off his msn and blocked me. He must have thought that i'm some kind of a snobbish, educated, "ya-ya" girl. I know this is very stupid of me, but once in awhile I do cry over him. Haiz... It's no point, Shida. Get over it! Kak Nora, please dont encourage the feeling of 'it's okay for me to miss him'. It's just sooo wrong!! So so wrong!!! It is not worth it to cry over him. But thanks for updating me about him. It's good to hear that he is doing fine.
At the moment, I'm damn stress for my final year exams. First exam, next wednesday 14th May! Financial Reporting! So many things to look through. So many things to memorise! Aaargghhh!!!!
